Questioner: Is it permissible for a woman to woo a man just as Khadeejah did regarding the Prophet (sollaLloohu ‘alayhi wa sallam)?
Dr Sharof: Yes, it is permissible. There is no difficulty regarding this. Although, it is not easy for a woman to woo a man, this is because the man may cherish her, but he may dislike her because she wooed him. This is the case with some men.
Besides, it is possible for the man to say he is not interested. The shame in this kind of response may make her consider leaving that vicinity. For this reason, if there is a woman who is interested in marrying a man, she should strategically make him know. If the man is not interested she should be calm. There is no problem about it.
However, if a woman wishes to marry you, do not be in haste to reject her offer even if you are not interested. You may aid her by helping her look for someone she may be interested in. You can state clearly to her that you are contented with the number of wives you have, or you are not interested in marrying a wife for now (as the case may be). So, you are to make her understand your reason, but do not hesitate to help her look for someone else who is of good moral qualities. She will be happy if you aid her regarding this. That is it.
A covetous person will quickly marry four wives, and he may quickly divorce some of his wives so that some other ones will come in. This is covetousness. For this reason, we should be contented with whatever we have. Don’t be unnecessarily bothered about women so that you can have enough time to take care of your household. Allaah detests the trait of intentionally marrying (women) for the purpose of enjoying them sexually (and thereafter divorcing them). This is because Allaah cursed the men who do such thing and women who do such thing. If you marry one wife and you do not have the capability of marrying more wives, stay calm and do not bring unnecessary troubles to yourself. Na’am.
[SOURCE: “MEN AND WOMEN AROUND THE MESSENGER”; VENUE: “OGBOMOSO”]
Translated by Aboo Aaishah Al Odeomeey