Questioner: There is a sister whose father is from the people of innovation. She wishes to marry a brother who is upon the Sunnah of the Prophet (sollaLloohu ‘alayhi wa sallam) but her father insists that she mustn’t marry him. What should she do?
Dr Sharof: She should continue to beg her father. She should continue to persuade him and make him know that the brother is the only person showing a yearning desire to marry her. She should sarcastically tell her father that the brother would change. Although her father may interpret it to mean that the brother would join him in innovation, she should have the aim that her father would change to a Sunni. It is left to her. Ladies should be very wise; they should have a way of convincing their fathers. If her father does not agree, she should try to convince her mother. Her mother may agree with her (and thereafter help her convince her father).
There is a sister who wishes to marry a brother; she declared that she wouldn’t stop propagating Tijaaniyyah. The brother asked us to advise him. We asked him to go ahead; if Allaah wishes, she would agree to follow the right way if you are wise enough. Allaah makes it permissible for the Muslims to marry the Ahlul Kitaab (people of the book) because men are to guard their homes with commands. It is easy for men to convince women, although we see some men who later followed the misguidance of their wives. For this reason, as for the sister in question, she should plead with her parents because there is no parent who wants forlornness for their children. They are harsh with her because they desire goodness for their daughter. She should strive to convince them till they agree. May Allaah make them agree!
If they disagree, she should use her family members to beg them. If they still disagree, ask the scholars in your area to beg them. If they still disagree, there is no harm if the people who understand the Sharee’ah marry her to the brother. This is applicable when every trial has been to no avail. Her parents want her to marry a person who would misguide her to hell while she does not desire this. She can’t be neglected. That is it. Na’am.
[SOURCE: “CONCEPT OF NIKAAH, tape 4”]
Translated by Aboo Aaishah Al Odeomeey