ADVISE TO THE PARENT ON NIKAAH, Shaykh (Dr) Sharof

Questioner: If one is certain that if one tells one’s father that one wants to marry, one’s father would not agree; he would insist that it is until one has a Master’s degree, can one do the Nikaah in another way? 

Dr Sharof: There is no problem; do the Nikaah in another legitimate way. What Masters degree is he referring to? Iro lasan! Certificate! That is not the most important thing for you; go get married. These are people who make life miserable for their children. Many of such incidences had happened in the past; the certificates of the victims became their husbands (that is, they were neglected by men, perhaps due to their ages). This is a situation whereby such person lies on her bed and says, ‘I love you, O my certificate’. We seek refuge with Allaah! For this reason, the earlier you get married the better for you. Without any doubt, there are some fathers like that in some areas which we won’t mention because that is not the norm of everybody in those areas. These people are obstacles to their children; they would not make them marry on time. They would enforce it on them not to marry until they get Master’s degree. (Take for example), if a lady is offered a provisional admission at 18 years of age, and it is not a University where the least year they spend is 5 years, but 4 years, at what year will she graduate?

The congregation: 22 (years)

Dr Sharof: She would go for service (NYSC). And that makes it…

The congregation: 23 (years)

Dr Sharof: If she is lucky enough to commence her Master’s degree immediately and she is fast with the program, it will take her 2 years. Okay, 23 plus 2 is…

The Congregation: 25 (years)

Dr Sharof: 25 years old; do you wish to marry a person like this? An old woman!

The Congregation: ‘Laughing mode activated’

Dr Sharof: Do you wish to marry a person like this? Yet, they keep on enforcing it on them to finish (their Master’s degree before marriage) and you know that majority are latecomers. How about a person who has reached 24 years old before gaining admission into the University? There are many of them there (in the Universities); there are from them, people who are 28 years old and are yet to get their degrees. If a person like this is forced to have a Masters degree before marrying, at thirty-what years will she get married? For this reason, if Allaah makes a way for your children, and they have people who want to marry them, let them quickly go. Don’t make their lives miserable. You (that is, parents) are fortunate to certain extent that is why you have children that you are sending to school. Let them start theirs too; let them know the children they would born and to what extent they would give them quality education. Don’t make their lives miserable. Let them get married; this would not in anyway stop them from learning. They would finish their studies peacefully and modestly. They would have nothing boggling their minds. Men who distract (female students) would see that there is no way for them to disturb such students (since they are legally married). It will be easy for them to face their studies. As for forcing them to finish a first degree or Master’s degree (before marriage), by Allaah, this is wrong. Which school did their mothers finish before you (their fathers) married their mothers? Most of those women did not finish secondary school, (let alone, going to Universities). Isn’t it?

The Congregation: Yes, it is.

Dr Sharof: When did the story change to ‘you must first finish your studies’? That is it.

[SOURCES: TAPE: CONCEPT OF NIKAAH 4; TIME OF THE TRANSCRIBED QUESTION AND ANSWER: 52 minutes 28 seconds to 55 minutes 55 seconds]

Aboo Aaishah Al Odeomeey

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